Tuesday, June 5, 2007

to become a pastor yet i suck

I wanted to become a pastor yet i suck. I can not even influence people around me. I can not even quote a verse from the bible. I can not even convince my friends that i can be a pastor. My family can not even back me up. People around me don't even care. I can not even persuade them from doing what is wrong. I can not even talk them out on something that is not right. They don't care if i get hurt in the process. Or it doesn't matter if i get hurt or not, as long as they are happy.

So really, who cares if i want to become a pastor? Or you can tell me to wake up from a dream. Or, who cares about me? No one. Nobody cares. Nobody cares what i feel. Who cares if i get angry or not? Yes, I can't live without those people around me but they are better off without me. It doesn't matter if i exist or not, what matter is i don't matter.

Do i matter to God? I don't think so, for i am sinful and nobody would give a second thought to care. So to become a pastor, probably, i just have to keep on dreaming because it is very far from reality.


Rodrigo said...

Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Até mais.

Lani said...

sometimes,when people around you don't say anything,it doesn't mean that they don't support you.everyone can turn their back on you but not your family and GOD.always remember that.

regarding being a pastor,it is not a requirement for a person who wants to be a pastor to be perfect.if that is so,there would be no pastor at all on earth because GOD is the only one who's perfect.if you think it is GOD's plan for you to be a pastor,wait for HIS perfect timing.

also,don't ever doubt your value to GOD.we matter to GOD.proof of that is when HE died on the cross.sometimes we just have to let go of pain,bitterness and every negative feelings that is NOT FROM GOD to see what GOD is doing in our lives.LET GO!it's when you'll see the sunshine and comfort in GOD's arms....

Anonymous said...

You feel like you suck because you can't influence the people around you. How do you know that? Have you looked at each and every life of every person that has had contact with you? Would you be able to tell if your presence or absence makes a difference in their lives? How do you know??

You also feel like you suck because you can't persuade people from doing what is wrong. Guess what? You're not the only one. It's called free will. You can't control people, so just accept that fact.

Nobody cares what you feel? Again, how do you know? Have you met each and every person that has known you? It takes only one to prove that statement wrong.

And then you say that you don't matter to God. Again, how do you know? Do you know the mind of God? You do know that He died for you. And in saying that, it's like you telling Him that it is not enough. He has to show His love some other way. In times like this, you have to remember what you've been through. Remember how He has pulled you out in hard times. Remember.

Ps. 8:4 says "What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?"

Daisy said...

I found out about your blog through the naked pastor. My dear, God LOVES you. He made you and allowed you to live because you have a purpose to fulfil in his Kingdom. I agree with anonymous when he/she says how can you possibly know?

You may have given someone a smile in the supermarket and made his or her day that much more beautiful. You may have offered a word of comfort to someone that meant the entire world to him/her.

I will share an example from my life to show you how you can never know what impact your life has on others. I remember a lady who worked at a fuel station near my home in Kampala, Uganda. She is Muslim. She once told my husband that she was considering becoming a christian because I always said hello to her whenever we stopped there. Who would have guessed something that small could have had such an impact?

God may be using you in ways you cant even imagine, pastor or no. Whatever you are right now, you do matter, and so does this blog :)